Disappointment, but the dream lives on

Today's election results are disappointing. Proposition 8 looks like it's going to pass, although there's a glimmer of hope, however faint that as of yet uncounted absentee and provisional ballots may push it to defeat.

So yes if you ask me what I think about the results this morning, I'm disappointed. But I also look at this very realistically. We had the opportunity of a lifetime. Never in my life before this year did I think that gay marriage was going to happen in my lifetime, much like the Berlin wall coming down, or the USSR dissolving, or an African American becoming president. Yet all these things happened, and I'm glad and proud to have witnessed all of them in my lifetime.

I wouldn't have changed anything we've done. Our marriage was one of the most precious things we could have done and I'm so glad our daughter Lauren was a part of it and she made such an impression on us. So as I've told some of my friends, being able to get get married was icing on the cake for us. Our marriage was about us, getting to state our love to each other and to our daughter, reaffirming our family, and we held our marriage with just ourselves and two friends as witnesses. Sure, we had a party later, but the wedding was private, affecting only us, and no one else.

So, if you ask me about Proposition 8, yes, I'm disappointed, but I'm glad we were part of this past year of gay marriage, and we'll continue to dream on about a world where equality prevails. It may seem like something that won't happen in our lifetime, but as we've lived to see, anything's possible.

Our Wedding

We've spent the last few weeks planning our wedding. Actually Lars did most of the planning and arranging, the only part I had was making sure Lauren looked like a princess. She's been so excited, telling everyone that her daddy and papa were getting married.

We decided we wanted a small ceremony, as this was really our day. We're getting married for us (including Lauren) and not for anyone else or for any political reason. So at first we thought we'd just go to the county building and get an appointment for a civil ceremony. We got our license, but it turned out the date we wanted (August 8, 2008) was also wanted by every other Asian or Asian influenced couple, so they were already over-booked.

We looked for alternatives, and ended up going back to where we registered our domestic partnership before Lauren was born. An eclectic lady, who ran a post office box/notary/wedding chapel service ended up being our choice for minister and wedding location. At first we thought it would just be us and Lauren, but then we realized we also needed witnesses for our wedding license. Lars called up long time friends of his to come and join us for our wedding. They agreed, and asked if they too could get married at the same time. Immediately we had plans for a double wedding.

The day of the wedding, we all got dressed up, and were going to meet our friends Steve and Colin at their hotel. While we were there getting ready to go, Lars surprised us all by having a limo pull up and take us to the wedding venue.

During the ceremony Lauren surprised us by taking both our hands to complete a circle between us, when the minister asked us to join hands. It was so touching it brought Colin to tears.

After both ceremonies, the limo took us to the nicest steakhouse in town for a celebration dinner. Everyone was so nice and congratulatory during the evening it truly made us feel wonderful and thankful for our community and our family.

So now we're married, and Lauren's family is one legally too!

Marriage in California!

This morning, the California State Supreme Court gave the nod to gay marriage. Today, Lauren is almost three years old (she'll turn three on July 13th). Today, my partner asked me to marry him. Today we really do get to be a family.

I didn't think I'd be this emotional today. It's a surprise to me I that I welled up and started to cry when I read the announcement, and cried some more when my partner called to ask me to marry him.

We're not going to have a big wedding, and in fact it may not be more than 10 people, but it'll be our wedding and that's what counts. Lauren will always be able to say her family counted too.